A Life That Does Not Fit One Label

On this blog, we share a reflection from our intern Iliesha Perera, who completed her internship with us remotely from Tampere. In her post, she writes about growing up across several countries and how this shaped her sense of identity, belonging, and home. She also explores cultural intelligence: the skills we all need to understand each other in intercultural spaces. Her story is a reminder of why the work we do at Familia matters: supporting people whose lives, identities, and experiences do not fit into just one label.

​People often ask where I am from, and I still pause before answering. As said in the song; Identity (feat. Saja Kilani) there can be more than one answer to give when asked "Where are you from". The question sounds simple, yet it never sits neatly with me. I grew up moving between countries, and each place shaped me in ways I understood only much later. 

​My Journey Through Countries

​Born in Australia, raised in Sri Lanka, lived in Finland, and later in Germany. Each move gave me a new language, new habits, and a different version of myself. During a study session organised by the European Young Women Christian Association, we were asked where home is. That question made me realize that after packing my life into two suitcases again and again, I could not attach the idea of home to a physical space. Home for me is where my family is. At times I feel like the odd one out. One thing that has helped me is having different social circles that share something in common. My identity has shifted over time, and many times I wish I could call myself a transnational. 

​Intercultural Cities and Diversity

​My identity grows every time I enter a new space and phase. Many of us live in places shaped by migration and layered cultures. When we speak about intercultural cities, we look at transnational collaboration with different bodies. As far as I know, places such as North Sentinel Island have been isolated for some time. Apart from places like that, most countries have tourists, expats, international students and investors.

​Finland has been culturally diverse for centuries. For example, there are the Samis, Romas, Jews, Karelians and Swedish speaking Finns. When a country is culturally diverse, it is important to have organizations such as Familia ry, which promotes the wellbeing of intercultural individuals. Peer groups are like social circles. We share cultural diversity as a common factor. We also see religion, race, marital status, socio-economic status and shared goals such as gender equality bringing people together. These experiences led me to think about cultural intelligence.

​Understanding Cultural Intelligence

​(Georgescu, 2018) says Earley and Ang introduced the idea of cultural intelligence as the ability to adapt effectively to new cultural contexts. They proposed four categories. Cognition - knowledge about cultures. Metacognition - ability to piece together available information to form a clear picture. Motivation - desire to engage in and learn about cross cultural relations. Behaviour - appropriate verbal and non verbal actions when interacting with people from different cultures.

​Culture, Identity and Change

​I still ask myself questions. How do I explain my identity to someone who expects a simple answer. Is it important to understand a person's culture and/or identity if both can change constantly and remain in a process of transformation. If identity changes, then society cannot stereotype individuals. For example, when I was in my adolescence, I identified myself as a high schooler, but not anymore.

​I often think about how people do not choose their birthplace, so how can birthplace or nationality be used as the only way to identify ourselves. The value of cultural intelligence is that it teaches us that no culture is better or worse. It encourages us to listen, to understand others and to recognize that self and others are interdependent. The more we understand ourselves, the better we can understand others and the other way around.

​Why Differences Matter

​I often wonder what the world would look like if we focused only on similarities and stopped noticing differences. Would we lose something meaningful. There is something special about tasting different cuisines. A dish can tell a story. For example, Kürtőskalács (chimney cake) from Hungary was a practical food during difficult times, including the communist era before 1989, because it was easy and affordable to make and could feed a family.

​Conclusion and Call to Action

Our identities shift, our cultures blend and our stories grow with every place we encounter. Instead of letting these changes separate us, we can use them to build understanding. I encourage you to look at your own journey and notice how your background shapes the way you see others. Reach out, join a peer group, or simply begin with one honest conversation. Connection often starts with the courage to ask and the willingness to listen.

​Full reference: Georgescu, M. (Ed.). (2018). T-Kit 4: Intercultural learning (2nd ed.). Council of Europe. Written by O. Nestian Sandu and N. Lyamouri Bajja, with contributions from A. Surian, G. Titley, R. Gomes and M. Taylor. The first edition was edited by S. Martinelli and M. Taylor, with contributions from A. Gillert, M. Haji Kella, M. de Jesus Cascão Guedes, A. Raykova, C. Schachinger and M. Taylor.

Written by: iliesha perera