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Duo Family Training
THeME 2: The Pregnant Couple

“It's good to be prepared for the baby and to read up about whatever you can. Of course, stay calm and take it easy, but be ready for the baby - physically, emotionally and mentally. Try to find out about the other person's background and culture and how they deal with children, if there is any sort of difference in that then it's good to talk it out.” 
​- Father of an intercultural family
“Don't try to solve everything and every issue beforehand. Everything will still be unexpected, new, different, surprising - just take it as it comes and day by day. Enjoy each other’s company now that you are still just two of you. Do things that make you happy and gives energy. Be patient and don't try to change the other person. Women realize, adapt and learn to live with the situation faster - men follow....” 
​- Mother of an intercultural family
COUPLES IN THIS SECTION
  • Hanna and William (Finland and Colombia)
  • Nelli and Ciprian (Finland and Romania) 
  • Kaisa-Leena and Jan (Finland and the Netherlands)
  • Suzanne and Ilmari (Canada and Finland)
QUICK LINKS 
  • Welcome to Duo Family Training
  • How to use this online course
  • Theme 1: The Intercultural Couple
  • Theme 2: The Pregnant Couple
  • Theme 3:  Intercultural Parenthood
  • Theme 4:  The Two of You
  • Theme 5: Challenges​
  • Theme 6: The Bilingual Child
  • Theme 7: The Intercultural Child
  • Theme 8: The Third Culture
  • Conclusion

The Pregnant Couple

Use the material in this section – the homework assignments, the video clips and the Childbirth in Finland online lecture by Childbirth Educator and Birth Doula Marjaana Siivola, audio clips and the bonus material – to find out more about issues related to pregnancy and giving birth.
“I would read more about being a parent and especially about lactating. I was so concentrated on preparing for the pregnancy and giving a birth that I ignored these issues totally. I thought that they weren't important, but then I found out that things would have gone easier if I had paid more attention to them beforehand.”
- Mother of an intercultural family

After the initial joy of discovering you are going to be a parent, the practical issues surrounding parenthood soon come into focus. There are a number of things to take into consideration, appointments to book, practicalities to take care of, and items to purchase. Every couple across the globe has these issues to contend with, but an intercultural couple has yet more to think about when it comes to having children – particularly when visualising what to expect.
“Your family is unique. Acknowledge it and express it, do not try to fit into a mould of marriage or family of either of your cultures or backgrounds. Seek out your own family identify. Yet, it is very good to hear how others are doing on this path - search for a supportive community and don't stay alone.” 
- Mother of an intercultural family
At this stage, looking at your past and how you were brought up may give you some kind of indication as to how you may act and react as a parent. The gender roles, family involvement, cultural identity and emotional expression you experienced growing up will no doubt affect the way you perceive parenthood, and your partner will be the same. By thinking about these issues and sharing your thoughts and experiences with your partner, you may learn new things about you both. You may also be able to identify a number of positive common aspects and similarities you share which you both want to pass on, as well as issues that may need to be addressed. This will hopefully open up the lines of communication yet further and prevent either of you taking the basics for granted – just because you think something is normal does not mean that your partner necessarily feels the same way. As you talk about what kind of parents you want to be, you will gain understanding of your partner and, perhaps more importantly, your partner of you
“Make sure you understand your partner's childhood, their family culture, their parents' good and bad: these will become the basis of how each of you understands parenting and the assumptions of what to do in certain situations. The underlying tacit understanding of children, childhood, development and parenting are crucial to open and converse about and decide within your own family what are the expectations, desires and goals. No matter how much I thought we had done this, a majority of our conflicts essentially arise from differing childhood cultures (not only from different countries, but different family lives).”
- Mother of an intercultural family
In addition, culture varies hugely depending on the individuals involved, the society from which they come and the experiences they have had. Your culture, and that of your partner, is personal and made up of many different components. What we experience in our lives not only shapes our culture and what we value, but also how we view the world and treat others. Our own personal culture gives us a unique identity and perspective on everything, and by understanding this concept we are able to see just how it can affect parenthood and the possible issues surrounding it – not to mention your child and the family environment. The only parental model we have first-hand experience of comes from our parents and is different from person to person. Therefore, if you communicate with your partner what you have experienced and what is important to you when it comes to parenting, you are better able understand and support each other as parents and partners.
“I have gained more wisdom, especially from the experience I had before getting pregnant (as I had a few miscarriages, a risky pregnancy and bed-rest confinement for the whole of the third trimester). I learned that it is indeed a miracle - which I never really thought of before and grew to appreciate the right of being overwhelmed in each couple's own context. One of the greatest moments was when my son said “meme”, which means mom in my language. It also feels good when he hugs me voluntarily.”
​- Mother of an intercultural family

COUPLE Interviews

 

Online Lecture


Homework

  • Homework 2.1. Family Inventories (PDF)
  • Homework 2.2. Talking about Expectations and Childhood Role Models (PDF)
  • Homework 2.3. Preparing for Birth (PDF)

​Bonus material

  • Bonus material 2.1. The Importance of Talking About Expectations (PDF)
  • Bonus material 2.2. Pregnancy and Giving Birth - Planning and Practicalities (PDF)
Picture

 

Video Clips by Childbirth Educator and Birth Doula Marjaana Siivola

Toimisto / OFFICE 

Lintulahdenkatu 10, 7. kerros / 7th Floor
​00500 Helsinki
Suomi-Finland

Puhelin / PHONE

+358 (0) 44 773 8628

aukioloajat / Opening times

Toimistomme ovat avoinna vierailijoille. Suosittelemme kuitenkin ystävällisesti soittamaan etukäteen ja sopimaan henkilökohtaisen tapaamisen.

Our offices are open to visitors. We kindly suggest calling in advance to book an appointment and meet us in person. ​

VAT-numero / VAT-Number

​1056329-6

Picture
Familia ry logo
Familia on johtava kahden kulttuurin perheiden asiantuntija ja edunvalvoja 
​Familia is the leading expert and advocate of intercultural families
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© Familia 2023
  • Etusivu
  • Home
  • TOIMINTAA JA TUKEA
    • VERTAISTOIMINTA >
      • Vertaisryhmät
      • Duo vanhempainvalmennus
    • Neuvonta ja tuki
    • Tapahtumat
    • Kerhot ja työpajat
    • BElingual -hanke
    • Munduo - kahden kulttuurin nuorille
    • Kokemusasiantuntijat
    • Leiritoiminta
    • Tuetut lomat
  • ACTIVITIES AND SUPPORT
    • Peer Support >
      • Peer Groups
      • Duo Family Training
    • Advice and support
    • Events
    • Clubs and workshops
    • BElingual -project
    • Munduo - For Intercultural Youth
    • Experts by Experience
    • Subsidised vacation
    • Weekend Camps
  • TIETOA
    • Uutiskirjeet
    • Blogi
    • Vaikuttamistyö >
      • Oman äidinkielen opetus
      • Antirasistinen vaikuttamistyö
      • Mitä kaksikielisyys merkitsee sinulle
    • Eduskuntavaalit 2023 >
      • Familian tavoitteet
      • Vaalipaneeli
    • Nettikurssit ja oppaat
    • Kuinka puhua rasismista ja syrjinnästä -opas
    • Rinnallasi-materiaalipankki
    • Puolison polku - työllistyminen, kotoutuminen ja hyvinvointi
    • Tietoa kahden kulttuurin perheistä
    • Ammattilaisille
  • INFORMATION
    • Newsletter
    • Blog
    • Advocacy >
      • Mother tongue instruction
    • Parliamentary Elections 2023 >
      • Familia's objectives
      • Panel discussion
    • Online courses and guides
    • Tools for Speaking about Racism and Discrimination Guide
    • Partner's Path Project >
      • Path ambassadors
      • Challenges and solutions >
        • A to Z for intercultural couples
        • Anatomy of a CV
        • Why is a finnish partner a strength?
        • Fluent finnish required
      • Partner's path information and results
    • Professionals
  • JOIN US
    • Become a member
    • Volunteering
    • Internship & Work Try-Out
    • Open Positions
  • TULE MUKAAN
    • Liity jäseneksi
    • Tule vapaaehtoiseksi
    • Tule harjoitteluun tai työkokeiluun
    • Avoimet työpaikat
  • SUOMEN KIELI
  • FINNISH LANGUAGE
  • ABOUT US
    • Contact information
    • Projects
    • Privacy notice
  • TIETOA MEISTÄ
    • Yhteystiedot
    • Hankkeet
    • Rekisteriseloste