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​A to Z for Intercultural Couples

R - (COUPLE) RELATIONSHIP

15/7/2021

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Unemployment and integration can cause a lot of stress to your couple.  In most of the couples that we have been working with, some feeling such as guilt, anxiety, stress and frustration often emerge on the path to integration. Guilt is felt on both sides of the relationship. The Finnish partner often feels guilty and responsible for the foreign partner’s difficulties in Finland. For the foreign partner, not being able to contribute financially, being dependent on their Finnish partner for all kind of support, not having friends or networks outside of their relationship, all this can build up guilt.  Guilt and the feeling of being responsible for another person are both very common feelings, that we try, at Familia to discuss with the couples who come to meet us. What were your expectations when moving here? What were your partner’s? What is your perceived and actual responsibility in the way your integration process is developing?

In your couple relationship, during your integration process, you will both also feel anxiety and stress. You or your partner will both feel helpless at times. Most of the stress and anxiety that you may feel personally, might be increased by miscommunication within the couple. For a Finnish partner, many things might seem obvious or might never have occurred to him/her, when for you they are creating major worries. For your Finnish partner, some of your behaviors, or difficulties might be difficult to understand or empathize with.
 

We strongly advise you to be open and discuss about these misunderstandings. Being able to step in the other person shoes is one of the most powerful way to reduce stress and anxiety as a couple.

In intercultural couples, “culture” itself is not necessarily seen as an issue or seen at all. Culture may manifest on very unexpected occasions or in very specific topics. Among our clients, the questions of gender roles, finances, relationship with the families were among the most common sources of difficulties in the couples.  If communication and open discussion re crucial for your couple, we have also seen that being aprt of peer support groups might be of tremendous help. Meet people who share a common experience, listen to their stories and advice, have a safe space to vent. This has proven very efficient to improve the general well-being of couples, and to help participants in feeling better and therefore more ready for their job hunt.
​

Having a partner is a very precious resource when looking for a job and integrating in Finland. Having a space where you are loved, where you can feel safe and supported is extremely important for your general well-being. Set aside some time for your relationship and your partner, and don’t forget to also communicate openly about the positive feelings that emerge from an integration process: pride, ambition, hope and joy. ​​
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Toimisto / OFFICE 

Lintulahdenkatu 10, 7. kerros / 7th Floor
​00500 Helsinki
Suomi-Finland

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+358 (0) 44 773 8628

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Familia on johtava kahden kulttuurin perheiden asiantuntija ja edunvalvoja 
​Familia is the leading expert and advocate of intercultural families
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© Familia 2023
  • Etusivu
  • Home
  • TOIMINTAA JA TUKEA
    • VERTAISTOIMINTA >
      • Vertaisryhmät
      • Duo vanhempainvalmennus
    • Neuvonta ja tuki
    • Tapahtumat
    • Kerhot ja työpajat
    • BElingual -hanke
    • Munduo - kahden kulttuurin nuorille
    • Kokemusasiantuntijat
    • Leiritoiminta
    • Tuetut lomat
  • ACTIVITIES AND SUPPORT
    • Peer Support >
      • Peer Groups
      • Duo Family Training
    • Advice and support
    • Events
    • Clubs and workshops
    • BElingual -project
    • Munduo - For Intercultural Youth
    • Experts by Experience
    • Subsidised vacation
    • Weekend Camps
  • TIETOA
    • Uutiskirjeet
    • Blogi
    • Vaikuttamistyö >
      • Oman äidinkielen opetus
      • Antirasistinen vaikuttamistyö
      • Mitä kaksikielisyys merkitsee sinulle
    • Eduskuntavaalit 2023 >
      • Familian tavoitteet
      • Vaalipaneeli
    • Nettikurssit ja oppaat
    • Kuinka puhua rasismista ja syrjinnästä -opas
    • Rinnallasi-materiaalipankki
    • Puolison polku - työllistyminen, kotoutuminen ja hyvinvointi
    • Tietoa kahden kulttuurin perheistä
    • Ammattilaisille
  • INFORMATION
    • Newsletter
    • Blog
    • Advocacy >
      • Mother tongue instruction
    • Parliamentary Elections 2023 >
      • Familia's objectives
      • Panel discussion
    • Online courses and guides
    • Tools for Speaking about Racism and Discrimination Guide
    • Partner's Path Project >
      • Path ambassadors
      • Challenges and solutions >
        • A to Z for intercultural couples
        • Anatomy of a CV
        • Why is a finnish partner a strength?
        • Fluent finnish required
      • Partner's path information and results
    • Professionals
  • JOIN US
    • Become a member
    • Volunteering
    • Internship & Work Try-Out
    • Open Positions
  • TULE MUKAAN
    • Liity jäseneksi
    • Tule vapaaehtoiseksi
    • Tule harjoitteluun tai työkokeiluun
    • Avoimet työpaikat
  • SUOMEN KIELI
  • FINNISH LANGUAGE
  • ABOUT US
    • Contact information
    • Projects
    • Privacy notice
  • TIETOA MEISTÄ
    • Yhteystiedot
    • Hankkeet
    • Rekisteriseloste