Belingual Blog: December means different things to different families

As the year winds down and the cold sets in, people turn inwards figuratively or literally. December is a month of running back and forth amid lights shining their gentlest yet brightest everywhere and a chance to (hopefully) catch your breath towards the end of the month. Whatever we celebrate this month - or whether we celebrate nothing at all - December means different things to different families. Everyone adds their own little twist to this month of darkness, flickering lights and festivities, and if there is one thing we can ‘generalize’ from our collective experience it’s the joy and excitement children feel when they see all their favorite traditions combined.  
 
No two families are alike and the five examples we have featured below, compiled from our Belingual families, show this only too well. We wanted to know what December means to families, whether they celebrate any holiday at all, and if they do, how they celebrate. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate (or not) any holiday in December - and as with people - when it comes to mixing traditions together, the more the merrier is a very good guideline to live by. Because children enjoy learning and sharing the way they do things, and the more children discover, the more they open up to the world.  

Magic and traditions

"​December is the time of the year when we celebrate and we are allowed to believe in magic. For me it's the time for Christmas (bad) movies, hot chocolates, decorate our home and make it cosy and warm. It's also our family time during which we have the most traditions: we bake, we decorate our Christmas tree or create our own decorations, we plant wheat or lentils (04/12, holy beard celebration), we play board games. It's really a positive and loving time (even if it's stressful and you run after time)"

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Resiliance and sisu

My name is Martha, and I am a mother in an intercultural family. Christmas time for me is a reminder of the resiliance and sisu required to thrive in Finland. Like many of us, I feel more tired than usual due to the lack of sun, and fast-paced lifestyle of a mom of a young child, work responsibilities, home shores and many other things going on at the same time.  

I have learned to forbid myself from spoiling Christmas to my daughter and concentrate over and over again on how blessed and privileged I am. What are the things I do not enjoy from Christmas? 

• Additional expenses for the budget of my family
• Not being able to visit my family back home and give the experience of Nicaraguan Christmas to my daughter
• Noticeable social isolation and lack of family support
• Even if we have some days off from work, my husband and I do not get rested and recover energies to start a new year

All in all, my little one is excited about Christmas and as a responsible adult, I will do everything to let her live the magic of this holiday. We have been singing and dancing Christmas songs in Spanish and Finnish since late November. Our home already exhibits Christmas decorations placed strategically by her. And of course, I will make an effort to buy her some gifts and give the surprise that Santa or el Niño Dios have awarded her for her good deeds. Snow came just early this season, which gives children the joyful opportunity to play outside and do a snowman. We are healthy, safe and we love each other, that is all I need to remember to be grateful and feel the true meaning of Christmas.

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Communal christmas

We are a Finnish-Kenyan family with a three year old.  Christmas is our biggest yearly celebration and hands down my favorite holiday. For me it is above all about family. When I was a child, we lived in Japan and with the exception of a few years we celebrated with our small nuclear family. When we moved back to Finland, I loved being able to spend Christmas with our wider family and that remains to this day. I hope to always be able to make Christmas a communal experience for my child. 

This year my cousin and her family (also an intercultural family living outside Finland) are coming to visit and I am so excited that my kiddo gets spend Christmas with their “little cousins”. Our Christmas' also include lots of video calls to family and friends far away, which is always a bit hectic and bittersweet but always full of thanks and love.  To us december means being together. ​

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Combining traditions

D​ecember for me has always been the month that combines Christmas with Hanukkah, when everything is lit up. I’m not that connected to the Jewish part of my heritage, but I’ve fallen into a few Hanukkah celebrations here and there, mainly through friends.

Growing up, Christmas proper started on Christmas Eve and friends were always welcome to join in. I’ve always liked the idea of bringing people together and celebrating Christmas Eve in different places. I remember spending Christmas Eve in a train compartment once, because of various delays and got a real kick out of that. Many of my friends have birthdays in December, too, so lots of things to celebrate.

​As a child, my parents would add the traditions of whatever country we were living in to our traditional Christmas, so December also meant an Advent calendar and wreath as well as Santa Claus coming on the night before December 6, which spelled no conflict because Baby Jesus brought the presents on Christmas Eve. My perfect Christmas is the one in which people come together and just enjoy each other’s presence, cooking together, sitting down to eat together, just being happy with each other and the world for that one moment in time.  

WORTH PROTECTING

Yes, we (a Indian, Japanese, American Family) do celebrate Christmas although neither of us were raised Christian! We also celebrate select holidays from each of our cultures such as Halloween and Diwali. 

For Christmas, we get a tree and presents for everyone in the family. We also decorate our home the entire month of December and get an Advent calendar to begin the countdown to Christmas. On Christmas day, we give thanks for all the good things the year brought us and hope for more the year to come.  

As for hardships, the only way seems to be through! We are still a young and newish family unit, and I am very aware of how a hardship can break a family. Paradoxically, just knowing that the abyss awaits next door and that there is nothing to protect the fall, I think helps to concentrate the energies on what's important, which is this new life that we have brought into this world, who is now our charge and worth protecting.