Hello everybody! I’m Melis, a graphic designer from Istanbul, Turkey. I started volunteering for Familia last year soon after I joined the Finnish language course of the organization. I love how Familia supports and helps us to get to know about diverse families and cultures in Finland. I myself like Finnish culture and Finland a lot. Even though I only visited Helsinki once, It felt very welcoming with the multi-cultural structure and comfort that I saw in peoples face. I’m still learning a lot about Finnish culture; and hearing from the diverse people living in Finland, I understand more and more everyday. That’s why I feel very lucky to be a part of this community as a foreigner myself:) ​

It is holiday season, and this time of the year is a perfect occasion to put into practice the intercultural richness of our family. My husband is from Finland, and I am from Nicaragua. Together we are raising a trilingual 4-year-old girl who has big expectations for Christmas. But how do we reconcile two cultures in a festive tone? Christmas is not always nice and fun, but this blog is a photography of our life situation in December 2022, and if you relate to it, you might also be in an intercultural family.
              
Christmas started early with a generous amount of snow that fell and never went away. Back home there is no snow ever, so I find amusing to see my daughter play and eat the snow that announces that Christmas is near. A Christmas calendar with little chocolates to open day by day is a new experience for me: this time my daughter chose herself the type of calendar she wanted to have.

Our family playlist includes songs such as “El burrito Sabanero”, “Last Christmas” and “Tonttujen jouluyö Tip Tap (Soihdut sammuu)”. My daughter makes her own version of the lyrics in Spanish, Finnish and English, mixing all the songs. Yes, Christmas carols are part of our repertoire and that is where things get a bit intercultural.

When I first moved here, I found some similarities between Finland and my home country of Canada. I felt some sense of familiarity with nature, which makes me feel like I could be in Canada, and the attitude of surviving winter - that all one needs is the proper clothing to get outside. In the summers, people in both Canada and Finland flock to a cabin near a lake, and in winter many people do winter activities like skiing or playing ice hockey. Canadians are stereotypically very polite, and Finns are stereotypically very reserved, but for some reason, the aggressive and physical game of ice hockey attracts players from both countries. 
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Usually, when I travel internationally, people have not heard of my hometown, it’s not a big city and not a tourist destination. However, when I moved to Finland, I realized that people had actually heard of my hometown of Winnipeg! One of Finland’s most famous hockey players, Teemu Selänne made his start in Winnipeg, and more recently, Patrik Laine was drafted to Winnipeg and played there for a few years.

Today, May 21st is the International Day for Cultural Diversity, a day on which all kinds of cultures and families are celebrated — especially those that do not resemble typical families in which there is one mom, one dad and everyone shares the same cultural and linguistic backgrounds. When we navigate the realm of families, International Day for Cultural Diversity acknowledges that families can look very different, with family members speaking different languages, sharing different backgrounds, and sometimes having just one parent, or two moms or two dads. 

8.5.2022 on neljäs äitienpäivä, jonka saan viettää äitinä. Olen äiti kahden kulttuurin ja kolmen kielen perheessä, ja olen tilanteesta, kysyjästä ja vastaajasta riippuen äiti, mamãe tai mum. Vuosia sitten sain monien sattumien kautta Brasilian osaksi elämääni, ensin työpaikan, sitten rakkauden kautta. En tuolloin vielä aavistanut, että myöhemmin minulla olisi lapsi, jonka elämää ja identiteettiä muovaavat sekä Suomen että Brasilian kulttuurit. Lapsemme asuu Suomessa, juo piimää, nauttii saunomisesta ja leikkii lumessa, mutta samalla hän pyytää musiikiksi “música brasileiraa”, haluaa farovaa riisiinsä ja katsoo Ryhmä Hau:ta portugaliksi. Äitiys monikulttuurisessa ja -kielisessä perheessä on täynnä samoja onnen hetkiä, riittämättömyyden tunteita ja arjen rutiinien toistoa kuin perheissä, jossa puhutaan yhtä kieltä. Samalla perheen monikulttuurisuus ja -kielisyys tuo mukanaan erilaisia haasteita.

Usein kuulee sanottavan, että äidinkieli eli se kieli, jonka ensimmäisenä olet oppinut, on nimenomaan se sydämen ja tunteiden kieli. Näin varmasti usein onkin, sillä ensikieli on myös se kieli, jolla olet tutustunut maailmaan ja tunteisiin. Olen kuitenkin jo pitkään pohdiskellut, eikö tunnekieliä voi olla enempää kuin yksi, sillä mielestäni aikuisiällä oppimani espanja on minulle henkilökohtaisesti ollut nimenomaan suurten tunteiden; niin ilojen ja rakkauksien, kuin surujen ja pettymystenkin kieli. Onko sydämemme yksikielinen?
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Aloin opiskella espanjaa, jotta ymmärtäisin, mistä salsakappaleissa lauletaan hurahdettuani päätä pahkaa kuubalaisen salsatanssin lumoihin 15 vuotta sitten. Olen tanssinut koko elämäni ja innostunut monista lajeista, mutta salsa vei minut mukanaan totaalisesti, kirjaimellisesti, ja elämäni suunta muuttui tuon tanssin tiimoilta täysin. Reilussa vuodessa suoritin Helsingin yliopiston Kielikeskuksen kaikki espanjan kurssit ja intohimo kuubalaiseen tanssiin ja musiikkiin vei minut luonnollisesti pian myös fyysisesti tuolle Karibian soivalle saarelle. Halusin omin aistein kokea, nähdä, kuulla ja tuntea mistä nuo vastustamattomat rytmit ja sulava liikekieli tulevat. Ja heti ensi visiitistä rakastuin myös Havannaan. Vuotta myöhemmin, ollessani Havannassa tekemässä kenttätyötä antropologian graduani varten, rakastuin myös havannalaiseen mieheen, poikani isään. Hän muutti Suomeen, espanjasta tuli kotikielemme ja pojastamme kaksikielinen.

I would say that it was quite a complicated path since I was quite on a rolling coaster on-and-off studying Finnish.  I was quite passionate about this language at first, then I was occupied with other activities in my life and Finnish language was no longer a priority. Long story short, I started learning Finnish again in the summer of 2021. It was the first summer in Finland that I did not go to work and stayed at home all day cramming Finnish instead. 

My 10-hour daily routine for learning Finnish include 2 hours of speaking only in Finnish preparing for YKI test, 4 hours of reading one selkokirja, 2 hours of watching series and films in Finnish and the rest is for doing grammar exercises in various kinds of grammar book. I do believe I completed learning Suomen mestari 1-2-3-4, Samalla kartalla 1-2, Harjoitus tekee mestari 1-2-3-4, Hyvin menee 1-2, Ykinköö ja Ykäänkö and several language books available in the library. I did enjoy and sometimes hate the process, and, occasionally, I simply wanted to give up. However, I believe that the crucial element to my success passing YKI 4 level is not the learning process but hope that drags me all the way. 

The MenTalk initiative was undertaken by an organizational collaboration between Familia and Perhelinna/Trapesa during the 2021 autumn season in Espoon keskus. MenTalk is a closed peer support group model to provide a space where men can bring their daily difficulties that derive from an ideal image of masculinity, which could have been passed onto them or developed over time.

By sharing experiences and questioning our behaviors with other men going through similar issues, we intended to discuss and find improved ways of communication, understanding of needs, feelings, behaviors and boundaries.