Today Finland celebrates Kalevala's Day. It's a day to remember a great Epic of Kalevala by Elias Lönnrot. This day is also known by some as the Finnish Culture Day. I decided to talk to my 6-year-old son about the Sampo, which was a Magical artefact constructed by Ilmarinen in Kalevala, and it brought riches and good fortune to its holder. I asked my son what he wanted if he had the Sampo and he answered sugar for sweet, salt so my food would be tasty and crystals because they are so beautiful. He asked me what I would have wished for, and I really wasn't sure for a while, so he said "Äiti, you always say that all you wish for is love and peace!" It made me realise that I actually didn't want any material fortunes. I want safer world, filled with love and respect. And this reminded me of 3 wonderful individuals that are inspiring exactly that.
Tiia-Marina has been with Familia more than 10 years, when she first joined as a trainee when she has decided to follow her heart to the social field. She describes Familia as a wonderful place where intercultural families, like hers, found activities, opportunities to meet other intercultural families who they shared similarities with. Tiia-Marina describes the Finnish culture as "a challenging culture for many foreigners to understand", and that Familia offers help and guidance to ease their bureaucratic frustrations. She mentions the colourful olden days where people walking in and out of the premises, cooking, and socialising. Tiia-Marina, explains how Familia's services are needed in present and future of intercultural families. The relationship counselling that Familia offers is very important to both sides, the foreign and Finnish part of the family she clarifies. She describes the problems of immigrants and intercultural families as familiar to her as the back of her hand. Her personal difficult experiences made it clear to her how important it is to receive that support. Tiia-Marina also talks of multilingualism and how it is the child's right to have their other languages supported, acknowledged and respected. She wishes for Familia to bring even more activities in the future to support intercultural families and all who moves to Finland. Alec sees also the importance in the work and what Familia is offering from various range of services. He describes how Familia is assisting intercultural families to navigate a complex environment. Alec is very proud to offer his time and service to an NGO that is offering tools and a voice for many intercultural families in Finland, and hopes to continue supporting in all ways possible for the inspirational staff and volunteers at Familia. Alec describes Familia as vital for health of society and the promotion of intercultural dialogue. He believes that Familia will improve the integration of immigrants and advocates on their behalf for better polices, through their works. He worries how in the recent years we have seen the revival of populism and anti-immigrant rhetoric, which he believes is mostly due a misguided fear of the "other". He thinks that Familia and other NGOs with similar minds and way will be a great assed to tackle this issue head on. Petra describes Familia work as important and close to her heart. She has been with Familia for 4 years and ever since has found out that Familia shares the same values with her and so it has been a key factor in her involvement with Familia. Petra believes in giving back to the community, so she finds it important to volunteer in NGOs such as Familia. Petra also tells that she is happy to have a is a part of a place where her experience has been found useful and could be used in helping others. In Petra's view Finland is changing, intercultural families and immigrants are increasing, so Familia is needed to be involved in this change and support the those who have moved here. Petra also believes that NGOs will benefit from identifying challenges and opportunities in the communities through research, surveys, and other analyses. Then this valuable knowledge can be used to build a new common good through constructive projects and developments. So if we think about it and imagine a world filled with such selfless people we would be able to see how wonderful the world would be. So yes... Maybe I would wish for unending production of people that are filled with love, selflessness and desire to change the world for everyone to live in peace and feel accepted.
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Each year World NGO Day is celebrated on February 27th. NGOs have a history that dates to at least the late 18th century, they have always been at the forefront of social movements and changes. Personally, I became active in the NGO world in Finland just few years back, but today we are not talking about me. We are talking about three very inspiring people that are part of Familia's board of directors.
Marie has been part of Familia for over 20 years, started as a volunteer and today she is the chairman of the board of directors. She describes how Familia has evolved and grew in those years. For Marie Familia is very important due to its objectives. She explains how the support of intercultural families is a personal matter to her and it has been very beneficial. She calls Familia as her "other partner" that has been in her life for many years. Marie believes that because the intercultural families are only growing in Finland, so it is a very important to have such organisation that supports and helps them. "As the intercultural families grow, so will the demand for the services and functions provided by Familia." that is how Marie explains the reason why she will be still around as a supporter to Familia in years to come.
Noora sees Familia as an active social debater that tackles issues and subjects, which are very important in intercultural families' daily lives. She describes this being close to her own heart, because she faces those matters in her own daily life in an intercultural and bilingual family. She expresses her appreciation to all the work that is done by Familia to support multicultural family lives like hers. Noora says that NGOs such as Familia are shaping the future and making the change for the better, through discussions and raising social advocacy. Additionally to that she says that Familia is doing so much good through the language courses, relationship support and parental coaching that Familia is offering. In Noora's opinion Familia is an important NGO for present and future for the increasing numbers of intercultural families.
Dora has been introduced to Familia over 10 years ago through a peer support group, and she has since then been a part of the activities that support intercultural families like hers. She enjoys being a part and surrounded by other people from intercultural families, as they collectively share their daily realities, concerns and options for solutions without feeling like they are different from any other families. Dora describes Familia as a provider of a platform for intercultural families' voice's in our society to be represented and heard nation wide. Dora believes that Familia has a very long list of great things that it could bring to the future of intercultural life in Finland. The most important things in her opinion are the wider networks, a better sense of belonging, new perspectives, more understanding, enlightenment, and in-depth solutions for challenges that intercultural families and the multicultural Finland require. Those three lovely people have been an inspiration to many. They spend a lot of their own personal free time trying to support an NGO like Familia in every way possible, just in hope for a better life for the present and the future of intercultural generations.
Happy World NGO day to all NGOs, volunteers, donors and workers who are trying to change the world one step at a time!
On 21st of February countries around the world celebrate the mother language or the mother tongue. Here at Familia we celebrate it with mix of mother tongues. This multilingual staff working under one roof have brought to our beloved organisation even a greater value. For years I was confused how to define mother tongue. I spoke only Finnish until I was 6 years old, after that I moved away from Finland and spoke Arabic and English until I was 22 years old, when I moved back to Finland. I was asked to put down on an official paper my mother tongue, I had by then 3.
People of minority languages in Finland also suffer, they don't find enough support for their mother tongues. Having another language beside the Finnish language will not make the person any less knowledgeable in Finnish. My 6-year-old son lives in a multilingual surrounding, I speak to him in Arabic, his father speaks to him in Persian, his sister speaks to him in English and his grandmother, aunt and other family members speak to him in Finnish. Also he has been in a Finnish day-care since the age of 3. So this made him English/Finnish speaker. I find those two languages are totally equal in strength in his mind. I came to apply for his first year at school to find out that after over 20 years Finnish authorities still don't allow more than one mother tongue. When will this change? So in what language do you feel? Can you dig inside and find out? I personally feel in both Arabic and English and so my mother tongues are English and Arabic! And I should have the right to be registered as bilingual mother tongue!
When Valéria Pinto moved to Finland with her Finnish partner two years ago, she was looking for opportunities to integrate and network. Originally from Brazil, Valéria has experience in both working as a media coordinator and teaching English. It was during this time that Valéria met Familia by chance during an event with another organisation that at the time had a partnership with Familia. “I won’t say it was my dream to volunteer when I moved to Finland, but it was something to fulfill the need of doing something and being useful, of meeting people and understanding things a bit better.” “I wanted to find a way to get more connected to the Finnish mindset and lifestyle, but also to become more employable”, she shares. “I met someone from Familia who was giving me tips regarding my CV and she suggested volunteer work. Her professionalism, her energy made an impression on me.”
This autumn Valéria led workshops about Brazilian music for learners of Portuguese to become more familiar with important cultural moments in Brazilian history. The workshops included exercises and discussion to contextualise these cultural moments through songs of the era. The Portuguese club was part of Familia's language club activities. For Valéria, the best thing about volunteering at Familia was the freedom to develop her own activities. “Familia gave me great freedom to develop my idea […] and was very open to my proposition.” “What’s the point with my volunteer experiences? Exchange: exchange of experiences and exchange of stories.” says Valéria, “I have lived in 6 countries and I really enjoy knowing different things, meeting different people, listening to their stories and telling my own stories.” Volunteering in Familia was also a way to challenge some assumptions about Finland. “After my experience with Familia, I felt that [Finland] is a friendly environment and I just have to go a step further to integrate. […] I learned that Finns are very open, welcoming and curious about things.” she says, “It’s about sisu!” Camilla Bergman This week we are celebrating our volunteers by sharing their stories in the Duo Blog. We are currently looking for new volunteers to run multicultural and multilingual activities. If you are interested in leading activities in your language please fill in the volunteer application on our website or contact Familia’s volunteer coordinator, Camilla Bergman be email at camilla.bergman(at)familiary.fi. After participating in Familia’s Duo Family Training together, Veronika and Sonja decided to volunteer as Duo Mother & Baby Group facilitators. “When meeting all other pregnant ladies I thought it would be good to keep in touch, because we are in a similar situation”, Veronica remembers. “It was a lucky coincidence that we got to facilitate together, since we were in the same Duo Family Training.” Veronika and Sonja are both intercultural mothers. Veronika is originally from Russia and Sonja’s husband is from Egypt. Both women gave birth to their first born child this year. “I got interested in getting to know other multicultural families because I know it’s challenging to be abroad and as a family it’s hard to be balanced when the other one is living in their own country and the other one is from abroad.” Sonja shares, “I think it’s important to meet other families in the same situation and struggling maybe with the same kinds of things so you don’t feel you’re alone.” Familia's Duo Mother and Baby groups are facilitated by a pair of volunteers who are also mothers of intercultural baby families themselves. These groups are meant to be cozy and confidential meeting places for the mothers and babies of intercultural families where they can share their struggles and celebrate positive experiences. Duo Mother & Baby Groups meet for two months at a time for 6-8 weekly meetings. "The people of course are the most important and the best part." Veronika and Sonja have shared many good moments together and as a group. "I feel we had a good atmosphereas a group, but also got to know each other personally”, Sonja shares. “For example sometimes we went home just the two of us after the session and shared more personal things. The people of course are the most important and best part."
Even though the official meetings ended, Veronika and Sonja still stayed in touch with the group. “After the official sessions have ended the girls started to initiate different activities themselves. We went to a farm together to see animals”, Veronica shares, ”It was great to see that people bring something of themselves and are volunteering to organise activities.” The Duo Mother & Baby Group’s structure brought reassurance to Veronica and Sonja as facilitators. “If someone wants to try to facilitate a group it’s a good way to practice because there are two people to share the tasks, two brains”, says Veronika. However, in the end it’s the group itself who makes the experience. Sonja shares: “It’s more like the group is creating the whole thing. We just give starting points and then it’s the whole group together directing it. And the kids enjoy it a lot!” Camilla Bergman This week we are celebrating our volunteers by sharing their stories in the Duo Blog. We are currently looking for mothers to lead and participate in Duo Mother & Baby groups next year. If you are interested in the Duo Mother & Baby Group please fill in the volunteer application on our website or contact Familia’s volunteer coordinator, Camilla Bergman be email at camilla.bergman(at)familiary.fi. Komal, Noel and Celine are part of Love is not tourism -movement, that has been actively campaigning for partners and families that haven't been able to see each other this year. Global pandemia has caused travel restrictions especially from the third countries to European Union. These are the stories from the people that are desperately missing their partners and family members. Komal's story Me and my husband are both Indians but were residing in Finland since 5 years with A type residence permit. We came to India for a short trip in February 2020 and got stuck here due to pandemic. My husband managed to return to Finland in May 2020 but me and my daughter’s residence permits expired so we could not return. We are desperately waiting for the embassy in India to reopen visa services so that we can reunite with my husband. Our daughter is desperately missing her dad and missing her school and education. Noel's story My fiancé lives in Lebanon and it’s getting tough to get him a visa since the visa center in Beirut is closed. I found out that in Turkey they’re partially open but I’ve been calling them and they haven’t answered. We are planning to see each other in Istanbul next month but not sure if we will be able to get there, if there will be flights. Now I’m trying to get him a visa to come to Finland in December. We were planning to meet many times during spring and summer but because of the restrictions, everything was always canceled. We were planning to get married in February 2021 but now I think that’s not gonna be possible. Celine's story I’m an Indian citizen. My husband and I have been separated since June 2020. He is new to Finland and has a A type resident permit. He is alone and finding it difficult mentally to manage alone. He also got severely sick and has no one to take care of him. I contacted the Finnish Embassy in New Delhi several times, more than 10 calls since June. Their response every time was that they can’t provide any type of visas or travel documents unless Finland lifts its travel/visa ban. Once I called Chennai consulate. They said that our personal relationship doesn’t matter. They only do what the government decides. I told the embassy that my husband is sick in Finland with no one to take care of him, and they replied that’s “not their responsibility”. How cruel... Being separated too long affects us both physically and mentally. Please help. What’s the point of declaring family reasons as “essential travel” if they don’t give us visas to enable us to travel? Is it so much fun for the authorities to see the struggle of separated couples?
Imagine being asked, What is being heard? "Mitä kuuluu!" And the response, Good. “ Hyvää, Kiitos.” Thank you. But the question, “Mitä kuuluu?” is “What hears?” literally. "Entä sinä?" And, you? "Ihaan hyvää, kiitos." Yes, perfectly well, thank you. Like saying, one hears good things. Except, that they are not responding about the functionings of their auditory senses, but, they are telling you that they are doing well. Which is what they asked you about in the first place… “Mitä kuuluu?” Do you hear well, What is being heard?
Also, in the olden days, when calculators helped people do their math, a calculator was also called an aasin silta. Maybe, just maybe, because the user could not make the connections between those unrelated numbers? It is nice to see how they use English words and add an “i” to the end of some words to make it their own. So, logically, hotel is hotelli, bus is bussi, and so on. But, you can’t extrapolate a word and think you know the meaning, especially when “porkanna” is not pork but the humble carrot. How about trying to say kaHvi for coffee (make sure you aspirate the “h”, tough one ain’t it?) and then having to say kofeiniton when you want caffeine-free? The suffix “ton” meaning “without”. That ton of logic beats me. Why not simply say “koffii” instead of making poor English speakers gasp for air while struggling to get the “h” aspirated. It does not help either, that the word for the pope is not aspirated and is just a long paavi. One has to pronounce the “aa” diphthong. If one doesn’t, there is not much else to distinguish it from its less-worthy cousin, the word for cardboard, pahvi. And listeners be-warned, especially, if I have not done my breathing-out exercises. "Yeah, I have the vain glory of being the one to make people think I am making pontifical statements, when all I was referring to, was some poor piece of cardboard that was in the rubbish bin!" Or, how about going into a burger joint and being greeted with Tuuna burgerisi?.. which I quite innocently thought meant “D’ya want a tuna burger?” Only to realize it was their clever usage of English, though not in the way you’d imagine. And, so my days in this land are days of discovery and laughter. There is always something that can “Tul-la pus-kis-ta.” Something can come out of the bushes, a surprise that can get sprung on you. Just like when I did a double-take — when I was told that what I had proposed -- fitted like a fist in the eye! I thought they meant that I had given them a sock in the eye! Seems, I could relax after all. All it harmlessly meant was that the proposal suited them perfectly. And that is perhaps, how I came to be with my Finnish man. Yes, the proposal suited me fine, just like a fist in the eye, sopia kuin nyrkki silmään. Mary Ann Alexander Published in Duo blog with Mary Ann´s permission First published in Mary Ann´s personal blog Tänä syksynä Familiaan saapui uusia kasvoja! Tutustu Camillaan, Familian uuteen vapaaehtoistoiminnan koordinaattoriin. Kuka olet? Olen Camilla Bergman, Familian uusi vapaaehtoistoiminnan koordinaattori. Koulutukseltani olen melkein valmis ranskan kielen FM ja aloitan yhteisöpedagogin opinnot HUMAKissa tänä syksynä työn oheessa. Lisäksi minulle on kertynyt neljän vuoden kokemus nuorten vapaaehtoisten johtamisesta, globaalikasvatuksesta ja kansainvälisen vapaaehtoistyön kehittämisestä esimerkiksi AIESECissa, Taksvärkissä ja EYPssä. Suomen lisäksi olen asunut ulkomailla Ranskassa, Perussa ja Romaniassa. Vapaa-ajallani tykkään ulkoilla, kuunnella podcasteja ja leipoa. Miksi Familia? Innostuin alun perin järjestötyöhön, kun olin 2 kuukautta vapaaehtoisena Perussa. Järjestötyön monipuolisuus antaa puitteet kehittyä monella eri tavalla eikä järjestöissä ole koskaan tylsää päivää. Familiassa minua kiinnosti erityisesti järjestön merkityksellinen missio ja mahdollisuus saada aikaan kestävä muutos pieneen järjestöön. Mitä tuut tekemään? Tulen toimimaan Familian yhteyshenkilönä kaikkeen vapaaehtoistyöhön liittyen joulukuun 2020 loppuun asti. Lisäksi tulen rakentamaan Familialle uusia toimintamalleja ja kehittämään vanhoja. Minuun voi siis olla yhteydessä vapaaehtoistyön aloittamiseen, toiminnan järjestämiseen tai toiminnan kehittämiseen liittyvissä kysymyksissä. Uskon, että järjestämällä ja kehittämällä Familian vapaaehtoistoimintaa voimme vaikuttaa positiivisesti monen ihmisen elämään! Ota yhteyttä! :) Camillaan voi olla yhteydessä sähköpostilla osoitteessa camilla.bergman@familiary.fi tai puhelimitse 050 502 1039. Who am I?
My name is Camilla Bergman and I am the new Volunteer Coordinator at Familia. My educational background is in French language and I am about to start a new degree as a Community Educator at HUMAK UAS. I have 4 years of experience leading youth volunteers and working with global education as well as developing international volunteering activities in organizations like AIESEC, Taksvärkki and EYP.In addition to Finland I have lived in France, Peru and Romania. In my spare time I enjoy walking in nature, listening to podcasts and baking. Why Familia? I became interested in working in NGOs after I spent 2 months volunteering in Peru. I love the variety of NGOs that allows you to develop yourself. There is never a boring day working in an NGO! I was drawn to Familia because of its important mission and the possibility to make a lasting change on a small organization. What will I be doing? I will be working as the contact person for Familia’s volunteers until end of December 2020. In addition to this I will be developing old and new frameworks for volunteering with Familia. You can contact me about any questions regarding starting volunteering, organizing or developing activities. I believe that by organizing and developing Familia’s activities we can make a positive impact on many people’s lives! Get in touch! :) You can contact Camilla by email at camilla.bergman@familiary.fi or by phone at 050 502 1039. Hei!
My internship at Familia has come to an end. I am happy that I had a chance to be a part of Familia and contribute to meaningful work. As a part of my responsibilities, I met 14 different people, both Finns and foreigners, who shared stories about their paths on employment, integration, and well-being in Finland. We discussed what getting a job in Finland means for integration, what are the best ways to expand one's network, how to master the Finnish language and much more. You can find the Path Ambassadors articles here. I must admit that I got many insights during my internship, both from the people who participated in the interviews and my observations. This was my first time working at a Finnish office and I would like to share the main takeaways:
These were the most important points that I wanted to share. I hope you find some of my observations and notes helpful for your own job search in Finland. Take care, Daria We make mistakes because we’re human. How we choose to react to and handle these mistakes, however, builds our character and our relationships for better or for worse. I do not claim to know what is best for all multicultural relationships but the advice I give below are the lessons I have learned over time through my own personal experiences. Don’t always assume you know what your partner is “really” saying Words can have many meanings culturally as well as personally. The language we choose to communicate with should be considerate of the other person and sometimes, especially in multicultural relationships, you will have no idea beforehand that something you said, which you thought was harmless, could cause such a negative reaction. People can often be quick to react or feel hurt by certain words or phrases that evoke past negative experiences or feelings. We then cling to those specific elements and forget to listen to understand. We’d rather only listen to respond. This communication breakdown fails to resolve the issue. Without open and clear communication, we stay lost in translation and without compassion, we often fail to give our partners the benefit of the doubt. As an American woman, I feel the English word “sensitive” can be very loaded and is often negatively used to belittle or to make others appear as weak. However, when my partner once used the Finnish word “herkkä” to describe me, which loosely translate to sensitive in English, my response was unnecessarily explosive because in that moment I could not consider how that word could be anything other than negative or even seen as a positive trait in Finnish language. We both had to exercise a lot of patience and compassion to overcome our misunderstandings and better understand one another. If you feel upset by what your partner has said to you, it is important to explain how you feel but to also patiently and compassionately listen to their explanation. Maybe they meant something else entirely or even misused a word, particularly in a language that is not their native tongue. The best advice is to assume less and communicate more. Don’t be unwilling to compromise All relationships require compromise. In our romanticized modern societies, compromise is often seen as the antithesis to romance. However, as Alain de Botton, a modern philosopher, insists (somewhat tragically) that “choosing whom to commit ourselves to is merely a case of identifying which particular variety of suffering we would like to sacrifice ourselves for.” We, as humans, all have our complexities and we only fully start to understand them when we try to love and live with another complex individual. Often these complexities can be polar opposites. Compromise is about learning to negotiate inevitable differences with a more kind, forgiving, and even humorous perspective. If we are not flexible in such a way, relationships will eventually break rather than learn to bend. Don’t lose your curiosity (in your partner) This advice will apply more to couples who have been together for a long time. Our culture, our upbringing is second nature to us and more often in multicultural relationships we frequently learn what is completely normal to us is often entirely foreign to our partner. In the beginning of any relationship we eagerly listen to our partners stories and want to learn everything about them. However, at some point in the relationship we wrongly assume we have done enough “homework.” We believe we have figured out our partner and have very little more to learn. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are always learning, and people change over time. The person you know and love now is not the same person you met years ago. This reality is so easy to forget but vital to remember. After nearly six years together, my partner and I have certainly made our fair share of mistakes, but we always try to follow the advice above. We continuously recommit ourselves to building a relationship we both want to last. Jade Rosenkranz REFERENCE De Botton, A. (2016, May 28). Why you will marry the wrong person. The New York Times. Retrieved from: nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person JADE ROSENKRANZ
I am an American and a recent graduate from the University of Helsinki currently living in Helsinki with my Finnish partner and our lovely dog, Luna. |
blogi - blogAjatuksia ja kokemuksia elämästä kahden kulttuurin keskellä.
Reflections and experiences from the life of intercultural families. kategoriat
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osallistuToivotamme sinut lämpimästi tervetulleeksi osallistumaan blogiyhteisöömme: lue, kommentoi ja kirjoita!
Kirjoittajina voivat toimia kaikki kahden kulttuurin arkea elävät ja aiheesta kiinnostuneet. Kynnystä kirjoittamiselle ei tule nostaa liian korkealle ja kirjoittaa voi joko omalla nimellä tai nimimerkillä. Blogissa esitetyt näkökannat ja mielipiteet ovat kirjoittajien omia, eivätkä edusta Familian kantaa. Kahden kulttuurin arki on itsessään kiinnostavaa ja siitä kirjoittaminen voi avata myös itselle uusia näkökulmia! Blogikirjoituksia voi tarjota sähköpostitse (info@ familiary.fi) tai yhteydenottolomakkeen kautta. Lopullisen valinnan julkaistavista jutuista tekee Familian henkilökunta. Tervetuloa mukaan! participate!We warmly welcome you to participate in our blog community: read, comment, and write!
Anyone who lives and works in the world of intercultural families and is interested in the topic is welcome to contribute. The threshold for writing should not be too high, and you can write either under your own name or under a pseudonym. Keep in mind that the views and opinions expressed in the blog are those of the authors and do not represent the position of Familia. The everyday life of intercultural families is interesting and writing about it can also open new perspectives for you! Your story matters and helps to raise awareness about the opportunities and challenges within intercultural families. Blog contributions can be submitted by e-mail (info@ familiary.fi) or via our contact form. Final selection and edition of the stories to be published will be conducted by our staff. Welcome to join us! |