“But what is your native language?”

The Problem With Language

Fighting Assigned Identity

The problem is that too often people tend to associate identity and belonging with language and will label the speaker accordingly. For my part, I don’t want to be labeled as being part of a culture I either rejected early on or have absolutely no connection to by virtue of its changed geography. I also don’t want to come across as assigning more value to one culture than another, though that has been my subconscious go-to all my life. Cross Culture Kids, who are brought up in this mindset, can dip in and out of cultures at seemingly breakneck speed, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have our own likes and dislikes when it comes to certain cultural norms. Some of us thrive in more authoritative structures, while others benefit from permissive environments. Personally, I’ve always functioned best when I was given freedom over set guidelines, but I have friends for whom the set guidelines work. As a consequence, there are places I’ve lived in that leave a very bad taste in my mouth still, whereas others evoke an instant feeling of inner peace, love, joy and the happiest of memories.

[The best thing about the training was...] ​A combination of sharing my thoughts, hearing from the other couples and the contextualization from the session guides are all impossible for me to separate from each other in their "bestness".

​Osallistujat odottavat ensimmäistä lastaan

​My personal experience is like this too. The first time we applied for my child, there were not enough children to form a group in our municipality, so we were just informed about it and left alone without another solution.

​Kielimuurin vuoksi hoidan kodissamme pääasiallisesti arkipäiväiset selvitykset, oli kyse veroista, terveydenhuollosta, päivähoidosta tai vanhempainvapaasta. Olen tulkkina välissä pankkiasioissa ja vakuutusyhtiön kanssa. Puolustan perhettäni verbaalisesti siellä, missä se on tarpeen, vaikka erittäin itsenäinen vaimoni kokeekin varmasti välillä turhautumista siitä, että hän on kielimuurin vuoksi minusta riippuvainen arkisissa asioissa.

​Not to fear, it was not all lows. There were many highs, I think the most important one for me was to see the participants transformed, from feeling overwhelmed and discouraged to being able to articulate their skills, to have found clarity and direction in their job search. Seeing friendships form and communications extend beyond the classroom was heartwarming as well